20 Signs You Are With A “Covert” Narcissist: http://youtu.be/-WVLZXLyO-M

samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

 The video is really long so i dont know if you might want to just replace my next session with just watching the video. I dont want to waste too much of your time so it would be fine. Again im not trying to be anything its that you mentioned bpd and i was curous and I just happened to find this. I actually hate pychology because I dont understand it at all which is why im bringing this up. Thanks.

I lost her when I didn’t see how insightful her Inverted Narcissist was and I should have continued  our dialogue from there…  I need to reengage her from that point.

Ive been going insane for three days now i dont know what to do i dont think this is ever going to end i can barely move and i was supposed to go to the job today and i cant just tell me what to do i cant go to your office or anything either and i dont want to i dont want to talk to anyone just tell me what to do

Laura,

I would call your job and cancel. Try writing your feelings down and send them to me. 

I also have an opening tomorrow at 10:00 am. You may  need to get medication to get you through these periods of high anxiety. If all that fails, you might try calling  Respite.

Keep me informed of what you decide to do. I have a busy schedule today but I will try to get back to you as soon as I ca

Laura,

I would call your job and cancel. Try writing your feelings down and send them to me. 

I also have an opening tomorrow at 10:00 am. You may  need to get medication to get you through these periods of high anxiety. If all that fails, you might try calling Parachute Respite.

Keep me informed of what you decide to do. I have a busy schedule today but I will try to get back to you as soon as I ca

I did cancel. Ive just been really disturbed by that video. I really couldnt stop obsessing over it. Whether I was that or not. But i think it might be just be because I always feel like a fraud so mabey it plays into that. thats the last time i ever watch videos like that again. I really regret it. never never never again. I dont know why i always feel like a fraud i dont think i want you to tell me i cant handle anything right now. Even that last email i wrote like that because i get really arrogant/defensive when i get paraniod and feel like im being controlled. Ive just completely lost focus it completely just theOk i feel a little better um ill let you know if i decide to come in tommorrow.

i dont why this happened but i started feeling troubled for a bit and tried to distract myself but then out of nowhere i started thinking that i was gonna die and you were gonna die and everyone was gonna die and i started crying and screaming and i thought of slitting my throat and banging my head against something and was really angry and was hiting the sofa. This just happened like 5 mins ago.

I just spoke to my mom that if my father didnt leave i was gonna kill him. But i realized it doesnt matter because its not just him there all fruads. There all devils dressed up as angels. So its pointless to give a fuck about them. I even appluaded her for being such a great actor and that i think they should all win a reward for best conartist best manipulator because im really impressed with these people i really am i dont want to be part of these peoples lives in fact i pretty much hate all people even this society is nothing but a zero sum con artist game. I should just destroy everyone because really were nothing but digusting  parasites living on this earth

Keep up the fight, Laura, and you reach a better place. Just remember there are good people too and you need to embrace them.

DocDee

I dont know why i bother to keep on living. Even if i get better its not like theres anything really to gain. I should really just die and become nothing. Thats what everything else is anyway and always will be. This world will probably be destroyed anyway. All roads lead to death and misery no matter what you try. Nature doesnt give a fuck about how much you want to live how much u want to be good. There is no good. Nature just wants to make u believe that its all pretty and wonderful and then snatch it away like the cold bitch it really is.

I still get addicted to the internet and I get caught in a vicious circle and can’t stop trying to figure out the line what to do and get stuck and can.t goanywhere or do anything else.

Also I feel like people will just end up finding out i’m a weird freaking monster once they really get to know me so there’s no point in trying to get real friends.

Laura,

[answer]

It’s important that you discuss these issues with your new therapist. Although it is not illegal, I do not feel I can adequately help you unless I see you in my office on a regular bases. Your new therapist has a different approach then mine and I think it would be two confusing to reach out to the both of us at the same time. Talk to him or her and tell them that they may contact me to discuss this issue with me if they wish to.

Best of luck,

DocDee

[/answer]

[question]

I talked to ghi and they said i could have two therapist as long as i dont see two on the same day but the same week is fine so may i come in saturday if your available? Sorry for the last email I get like that in those moments when i lose my mind but its short like the panic attacks so I think its sort of like that.

[/question]

[question]Ok I have a problem because I’m not sure whether I should come tomorrow because I’m not sure how I feel about it anymore and I believe that I may lack the ability to reflect upon myself and now I think it might be a little impossible to gain that ability so yeah I don’t know because I think I might havee vide been looking for something but didn’t know what it was so now im just making a bunch of stuff up to feel like i do know what it is. do you have any suggestions.[/question]

Laura, I rewatched the youtube video on Inverted Narcissism and want to ask you some questions about it.