Chris is a fictionalization based primarily on two separation patients I worked with.
You can find Chris’ website here:
Waiting For Greatness
….Every time I missed the subway by seconds, I spilled a drink, or didn’t have money to buy what I wanted, 25 years of things not ever going my way would all hit me at once. At this point of my life, I was crying myself to sleep nearly every night. I didn’t give a God damn about anything in my life and I was a ticking time bomb of suicidal idealizations. That being said, I am feeling better now after my most recent hospitalization now that I am on the right meds by the grace of God. The only difference between then and now, is that I am capable of coping with my “situation”. The circumstances of my life haven’t changed, but my “mental” has.
That being said, I do have “moments” sometimes… the other day, something set me off, I can’t remember what it was, but I remember being very thirsy and I was looking forward to a of Gatorade that I had saved earlier in the day. When I got into my apartment, I couldn’t find my Gatorade and that brought back an entire lifetime of not having what I wanted. So I exploded, mentally. I took my $650 computer and slammed it into the table. I tried to turn it on and it was broken,,, then things just escalated from there. My computer is my life. I then violently crumpled an art piece of mine. I value my art damn near as much as lie itself, but I did this because it was in the way of something I wanted to pick up. Then I lied to my dad as he entered the room. I said I accidentally dropped it, and we got into a heated argument. I can’t remember the last time I argued with me dad. He said he wouldn’t give me money for a new computer so I went to my bed and felt more miserable than I have in a long time.
Chris at my private office
“I think it is safe to say that I have suffered more than most over the last xx+ years. I have had suicidal ideations the majority of my life as an unmedicated patient of mental illness, and when I was diagnosed at the age of xx, medicaions did nothing but harm me physically and mentally for the following x years. I have been hospitalized approximately x times in x years, x times within the last x months. I have finally reached some level of happiness in my life, and I am here to show the world that if I did it, you can too. If I prevent so much as one person from harming themselves, and show them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I have accomplished my goal.”