….Every time I missed the subway by seconds, I spilled a drink, or didn’t have money to buy what I wanted, 25 years of things not ever going my way would all hit me at once. At this point of my life, I was crying myself to sleep nearly every night. I didn’t give a God damn about anything in my life and I was a ticking time bomb of suicidal idealizations. That being said, I am feeling better now after my most recent hospitalization now that I am on the right meds by the grace of God. The only difference between then and now, is that I am capable of coping with my “situation”. The circumstances of my life haven’t changed, but my “mental” has.
“I think it is safe to say that I have suffered more than most over the last xx+ years. I have had suicidal ideations the majority of my life as an unmedicated patient of mental illness, and when I was diagnosed at the age of xx, medicaions did nothing but harm me physically and mentally for the following x years. I have been hospitalized approximately x times in x years, x times within the last x months. I have finally reached some level of happiness in my life, and I am here to show the world that if I did it, you can too. If I prevent so much as one person from harming themselves, and show them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I have accomplished my goal.