parallel with psychoanalytic view of secondary elaboration in dream formation
Dialogue starts from the self
The self starts from the other
These are the boundaries and parameters of this book space… see Hillman in regards to boundaries and parameters of the therapeutic session
Was Laura going to make it? Should I text? Was I too probing. It was her time so we were already working whether she was physically present or not.
Was she escaping from face-to-face into the clouds?
What was her last text?
Would I be acting out? In? if I checked now.
…and now the writing of itself begins.
…if things go right the narrative will emerge from the clippings
The self-doubt is on the table and the proof is in the pudding .
Articles emerging posts… Mindmaps emerging from articles ….
Start with my notes as Pale Fire, Shields clippings into articles… Apophenia From links to posts to articles/chapters
Act of Creation , Kurzweil, Vannevar Bush ….
The soul/consciousness arrives on the stage where the pieces/clippings comes together
Mind maps, thesaurus program
Re It is the place where someone finds relations between these clippings that the self engages
And self-doubt whether the chemistry is where On the scale of apophenia
the narrative self smooths things over … It edits as well as copy edits…. Finds the most immediate (but not necessarily the most efficient way) of relieving stress and providing comfort
Now I sitting in my private office waiting for patients to come in
in many ways similar to how both Pirandello George Kelly sat in theirs.
Apophenia and Creativity
delusions and even hallucinations can serve as densive mechanisms against disintegration
This is where I present my narrative truth.
But like my characters, I need to protect my historical identity…. I don’t want my identity individualized to my actual self/person…. Jerzy Kosinski
like Freud’s blank screen I want it to enter into the dialogue naively … It’s the dialogue (and not merely verbal) that does the transforming the interactions….
Here I present my narrative office… here is a link to my historical office
Schafer’s Analytic Attitude.
Schactel Experiential Foundations of the Rorschach
Donald Spence’s Narrative Truth
Sartre’s double nihilism
My character’s office.
My character’s relationship with Sue (along with her comments).
My paper:The Psychotherapeutic Use of Cyberspace
… engagement and challenge … that’s a significant design component of video games. I think more important in many ways than superior graphics or number of levels …
and then catch myself going on and experiencing social shame …go ahead kid… I know you can do it… you’re just a late bloomer
Mindcraft and Autism
sandboxed games and text adventure games…
technique first developed at Queensboro…. assigned to Quality Assurance who had me in administration building where able to break into their computer system
Queensboro: Narration by Decree
Patient lawyer was invested in making people shit n their pantsDr. Noman implemented the narrative his characters: those who who didn’t hold the line… rewriting characters stories (patients and staff) like a bureaucratic George Kelly
The testing case with red flags of child abuse with Dr. Noman … he both agreed that the State investigation would take care of the historical truth … but we disagreed as to what the tests revealed about the narrative truth…
New Yorker article on Devil Worshippers …
The realization of how interrogation can influence narrative… which narrative truth best fits the facts
memory distortion, my dissertation,
An attempt to rise above Truth: Digitalization and Uploading of Mind and similarities to Mindlessness… UG and more recently mentions in NYTimes article. … a tendency to confuse Mindlessness with mindlessness
then Library where connected same and delivered messages and connected Intenret . Librarian was Russian and understood my plight
Psychology Department met in one of the back rooms… I was neither invited nor had the courage to attend.
then The Learning Center
the concept of mediation
Organizational coverups : child abuse and politics
Team meeting where the agenda was how to have me killed
there I had little doubts about the historical truth of what I was witnessing because the attempts at cover up and retaliation were difficult to ignore. It was the behavior of others both organized communal and personal idiosyncratic on the surface but communally consistant underneath that … the guiding thought was not to give in to the pressures and continue on my journey to the end.
the consistency and lack of doubt that I was I was acting with self-integrity was reassuring
able to focus on my work
in therapy embrace doubt about yourself because that’s the only why I could enter into the transferential space
virtual reality as a transferential space …
the Death of Socrates
The D.W. Winnicott: It is “joy to be hidden, but disaster not to be found.”
call myself diamond like borges
also use I to distinguish and set up a mono dialogue
Kosinski could not perceive his own identity difusion? (no double nihilism) but Pirandello could